Laci Green - I want to like you but I can't because you actually kind of suck.

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[Cross-Posting from Tumblr] TW - Islamophobia, etc.

Something that's been in my head for a while - I have really mixed feelings about Laci Green. I really want to like her, and at first I did, but... She's basically become another Dan Savage to me. (And you know how I feel about Dan fucking Savage.) Like... her sex positive stuff is generally awesome, but... when it comes to other things, she's kind of awful :-\

I mean, seriously. Some of the things she says have been really disgusting... She angered Muslims (especially Muslim women) by insisting their religion oppresses them (this was a year ago), and then when they got upset and tried to talk to her about it (this week) and why what she said was Islamophobic, she called them ignorant about their own religion. If you're offended, you're ignorant, and you're being just as oppressive by calling her an Islamophobe -- what the actual fuck was that.

It's very hard for me to respect someone like that. Someone who will sit there and "I don't know what it's like to be a PoC or a Muslim but this is how I feel about those things, and despite the fact that you are both of those things, the way you feel about them is totally wrong and you are ignorant."

 There are certain experiences I can never speak about, such as actually being Muslim or being a person of color. I can, however, speak about my own, and to argue that I must have dark skin or have been a practicing Muslim in order for me to do so is more of the same oppressive bullshit.

This quote for me is unforgivable. No, it is not the same, you are generalizing your personal experiences with religious members of your family to a larger culture about which you fully admit YOU KNOW NOTHING, and yet you continue to argue that you're totally right and anyone who disagrees with you is just ignorant. You basically pulled the "but I have black friends!!!" card and "I'm a white feminist savior" membership card in the same argument. Oh, and Laci, you are a racist asshat. 

And I'm learning that a lot of people in the trans* community don't like her either. They say she's not all that inclusive, she's a hypocrite, and she comes off as the typical arrogant white liberal feminist. (And I definitely agree with that last part. I started following her, and her posts are just... so off-putting.) The "I know your oppression better than you do" type who will talk about how much she hates hates a culture she doesn't understand but then will say, when confronted about a hurtful comment she made, "don't be hateful; allow people to make mistakes because it's how we grow!" stop yelling at me!1!!

Her actual words, which on a second reading, are really NOT ok: "Allow people to make mistakes, learn, and grow from those mistakes or things will never change in society."

1. Wow. That is some seriously oppressive bullshit privilege denial right there.
2. You can't learn from a mistake if no one tells you you've made a mistake.
3. So when someone continues to be an oppressive asshat, you think the "correct" thing to do is to keep my feelings to myself and never call them out on it? Again, how are they going to know and realize that what they did was wrong?
4. You think the correct way to respond to someone who is rightfully upset with something you said is to call them hateful and tell them to be more polite or things will never get better?
5. Fuck you.
6. In case you missed that - FUCK YOU.
7. Go fuck yourself.
8. YOU ARE BLAMING THE OPPRESSED FOR THEIR OPPRESSION OMFG NO.
9. This reeks of "be nice to us or we won't be your allies anymore." aka you are no fucking ally, you're doing this for the brownie points.

Not to mention that she attacked the asker for being "hateful," when they were really anything but. Not that it should even really matter, because she's still wrong - a) you as a privileged person have no fucking right to tell a non-privileged person how to react or feel about their oppression and b) you have no fucking clue how it feels, and we have every right to feel hateful and upset. Fuck your tone policing.

And then. Oh, and this. Well, I don't actually have time to get into the rest, but I have to say, I'm disappointed. And it's frustrating when all of the most popular sex-ed, body positive, sex positive people are white, cis, thin people who have no idea what it's like to not be that, or say things that seem entirely antithetical to what they say they believe. It's frustrating that someone who gives such incredible and important information about sex ed and has a voice that needs to be heard on those topics also uses that voice to shut down people who are rightfully critical of the problematic shit she says and does. And instead of an apology, the people she hurts are treated to privilege denying apologist bullshit and arrogance.

No one's perfect, and yes, it is a process, but... If you're going to be known as an educator about these things, you can and will be held to a higher standard. And if you think it's ok to silence and belittle and talk over ACTUAL trans* people and Muslim and PoCs and people who actually experience on a day to day basis the things you *think* you know about, you are seriously doing it wrong. And I take issue with that.

If people really want to know why I don't call myself a feminist - because the mainstream feminist movement is full of people like this - privilege denying, angry cissexist white girls who can't understand that the only people their "feminism" is helping is other cis white women (as it adds to the oppression the rest of us face).

So this has just been brought to my attention: #lgbt

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Best representation I have ever seen. It addresses the stigma and the "confusion," AND it's a male character. BRAVO ABC!!! Apparently this aired last summer. American network TV done right.

Also: Glee - THIS is how you do it.

Petition: 1 Million Against Amendment 1

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Change.org|Make Your Own Petition

You should watch this and laugh. #lgbt

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So this:

Convicted!

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If you have yet to hear - Dharun Ravi has been convicted on 15 charges, and faces 5 to 10 years in prison and deportation. Good news. It can never bring back Tyler or undo what was done, but at least Ravi will be held responsible for his actions.

In case you were wondering just what those actions were...
http://inothernews.tumblr.com/post/19403073958/the-newark-star-ledger-details-the-counts-and-verdicts

The Newark Star-Ledger details the counts and verdicts rendered against Dharun Ravi: →

COUNT 1
4th Degree Invasion of Privacy, related to Tyler Clementi: GUILTY
4th Degree Invasion of Privacy, related to Clementi’s guest, M.B.:GUILTY
(Observed Clementi/M.B. in sexual contact without their consent on Sept. 19)
If Guilty, jury proceeds to count 2; if Not Guilty, jury skips count 2 and proceeds to count 3
COUNT 2
3rd Degree Bias Intimidation
(For 4th Degree Invasion of Privacy charge on Sept. 19)
• Invasion of Privacy with the purpose to intimidate Tyler Clementi because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy with the purpose to intimidate M.B. because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy, knowing that the conduct constituting invasion of privacy would cause Tyler Clementi to be intimidated because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy, knowing that the conduct constituting invasion of privacy would cause M.B. to be intimidated because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy, under circumstances that caused Tyler Clementi to be intimidated, and considering the manner in which the offense was committed, Clementi reasonably believed that he was selected to be the target of the offense because of sexual orientation:GUILTY
COUNT 3
3rd Degree Invasion of Privacy, related to Tyler Clementi: GUILTY
3rd Degree Invasion of Privacy, related to M.B.: GUILTY
(Activated webcam so other people could view Clementi/M.B. in sexual contact on Sept 19.)
If Guilty, jury proceeds to count 4; if Not Guilty, jury skips count 4 and proceeds to count 5
COUNT 4
2nd Degree Bias Intimidation
(For 3rd Degree Invasion of Privacy charge on Sept. 19)
• Invasion of Privacy, with the purpose to intimidate Tyler Clementi because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy, with the purpose to intimidate M.B. because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED

• Invasion of Privacy, knowing that the conduct constituting invasion of privacy would cause Tyler Clementi to be intimidated because of sexual orientation: GUILTY
• Invasion of Privacy, knowing that the conduct constituting invasion of privacy would cause M.B. to be intimidated, because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy, under circumstances that caused Tyler Clementi to be intimidated, and considering the manner in which the offense was committed, Clementi reasonably believed that he was selected to be the target of the offense because of sexual orientation:GUILTY
COUNT 5
4th Degree Attempted Invasion of Privacy, related to Tyler Clementi:GUILTY
4th Degree Attempted Invasion of Privacy, related to M.B.: GUILTY
(Tried to observe Clementi/M.B. in sexual contact without their consent on Sept. 21)
If Guilty, jury proceeds to count 6; if Not Guilty, jury skips count 6 and proceeds to count 7
COUNT 6
3rd Degree Bias Intimidation
(For 4th Degree Invasion of Privacy charge on Sept. 21)
• Invasion of Privacy, with the purpose to intimidate Tyler Clementi because of sexual orientation: GUILTY

• Invasion of Privacy, with the purpose to intimidate M.B. because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy, knowing that the conduct constituting invasion of privacy would cause Tyler Clementi to be intimated because of sexual orientation: GUILTY
• Invasion of Privacy, knowing that the conduct constituting invasion of privacy would cause M.B. to be intimidated because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy, under circumstances that caused Tyler Clementi to be intimidated, and considering the manner in which the offense was committed, Clementi reasonably believed that he was selected to be the target of the offense because of sexual orientation:GUILTY

COUNT 7
3rd Degree Attempted Invasion of Privacy, related to Tyler Clementi:GUILTY
3rd Degree Attempted Invasion of Privacy, related to M.B.: GUILTY
(Tried to show Clementi/M.B. in sexual contact to other people on Sept. 21)
If Guilty, jury proceeds to count 8; if Not Guilty, jury skips count 8 and proceeds to count 9
COUNT 8
2nd Degree Bias Intimidation
(For 3rd Degree Attempted Invasion of Privacy charge on Sept. 21)

• Invasion of Privacy, with the purpose to intimidate Tyler Clementi because of sexual orientation: GUILTY
• Invasion of Privacy, with the purpose to intimidate M.B. because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy, knowing that the conduct constituting invasion of privacy would cause Tyler Clementi to be intimidated because of sexual orientation: GUILTY
• Invasion of Privacy, knowing that the conduct constituting invasion of privacy would cause M.B. to be intimidated because of sexual orientation: ACQUITTED
• Invasion of Privacy, under circumstances that caused Tyler Clementi to be intimidated, and considering the manner in which the offense was committed, Clementi reasonably believed that he was selected to be the target of the offense because of sexual orientation:GUILTY

COUNT 9
4th Degree Tampering with Physical Evidence: GUILTY
(Deleted tweets relevant to police investigation)
COUNT 10
4th Degree Tampering with Physical Evidence: GUILTY
(Wrote and posted a false tweet)
COUNT 11
3rd Degree Hindering Apprehension or Prosecution: GUILTY
(Destroyed evidence relevant to investigation)
COUNT 12
3rd Degree Hindering Apprehension or Prosecution: GUILTY
(Prevented a witness from providing testimony)
COUNT 13
3rd Degree Hindering Apprehension or Prosecution: GUILTY
(Lied to police)
COUNT 14
3rd Degree Witness Tampering: GUILTY
(Tried to influence what Molly Wei told police)
COUNT 15
4th Degree Tampering with Physical Evidence: GUILTY
(Deleted text messages sent to and received from witnesses)

I'm just surprised (and a little disgusted, actually), that there are so many people who think that Ravi shouldn't have been arrested at all because it was a suicide, not a direct murder. Clearly those people have no idea what the actual charges were and why. (And yes, I asked them.) Is "cyberbullying and an extreme invasion of privacy" suddenly not enough of an issue for them that there should be no consequences? Ravi did something so awful and invasive his that it lead his roommate to kill himself -- after numerous attempts to remove himself from Ravi's presence, attempts that were denied and ignored by the school-- and then Ravi tried to hide the evidence and convince a witness to lie for him. How is that not a problem?

Acronyms and Inclusivity

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Figured this was worth cross-posting. So an anon (who isn't actually that anon anymore lol) asked me how I felt about the PFLAG acronym since I frequently discuss issues of bisexual and trans* erasure. PFLAG, if you're not aware, stands for Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays and deals with LGBT issues -- and I mean that literally, LGBT, as stated on their website. So already we have some issues with inclusivity.

Interesting question, and I’m glad you asked… I’ve been thinking about this lately.
The short answer - yes, sort of… 

It’s not something I would really complain about, because I think it’s mostly just a personal pet peeve, but… yeah, it’s kind of annoying. Especially since they tend to take it quite literally and leave out many people in the LGBTQ+ acronym. 

Every time I see PFLAG or GLAAD or someone talking about a GSA, I do personally tend to feel a little bit left out. I don’t think they mean to exclude, but sometimes it’s like a blatant reminder that there are people who don’t consider you a part of the LGBTQ+ community, or that they’ve conveniently forgotten. It all falls into that gay-or-straight binary— intentional or not, erasure is everywhere, and worse than that, it’s considered the acceptable, if not preferable, thing to do by many. Monosexist/cissexist/anti-ace ideas are still surprisingly flourishing in many groups. (GLAAD is apparently also pretty well known in the bi community for ignoring bi issues in the media… When they say G & L, they really tend to mean “G & L — oh and sometimes trans*.” I don’t think for a second they would ever even think to consider asexuality… I’ve never seen it from them before, but maybe I missed it.) So it’s even more annoying when it’s an LGBTQ+ group or person (like Dan Savage, for example), because then it’s like… how do I describe it… When the exclusion comes from within, it’s like giving non-queer identified people the ok to do it too, whether explicitly or implicitly/subconsciously. “It’s ok, they don’t really matter that much.” And sometimes, people will tell you that you’re not gay or a lesbian, so you don’t belong… you’re not in the title, so you don’t belong… That part kind of… it’s awful. 

And when the gay/straight binary carries over to the media— whether it’s that THEY take the PFLAG/GLAAD acronym literally and completely ignore bi and trans* people in their reporting or discussions, or that perhaps we have these probably predominantly monosexual groups that think that “gay” is a catchall term anyway so no one bothers to correct. Everyone is seen as either straight or gay, binary cissexual male or female, no exceptions, and LGBTQ+ media watchdogs and sites are often just as guilty of this— GLAAD and PFLAG and quite a lot of the other big LGBTQ+ groups included. And we know that “gay” NOT even close to being inclusive. 

So while on the one hand I know that they’re older groups that were started before other parts of the queer community were truly accepted or understood, and they are, for the most part, very inclusive now— with asexuality being a notable exception— I do think they have a long way to go to actually BE inclusive organizations. And if a name change is a way to start that, or at least make people more aware that there are other letters in the QUILTBAG, well then I’m all for it. 

so tl;dr - kind of, but mostly because a lot of people use it as an excuse to BE exclusive.

No, this doesn't mean I'm declaring war on PFLAG or other organizations that focus on "gay and lesbian" in their titles.  I do wish that in general society would be more recognizant of the diversity of the queer community. Every time things are referred to as gay rights, or gay marriage, or the gay community... Really? Hi. No, that's not inclusive. Really. Stop that.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've found a colony of Awful Human Beings who need to feel my rage right now. Oh my fucking god.

So... Kelly Clarkson, huh... lmao

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I don't give a shit who she endorses. Whatever. I don't care. She can endorse Kim Jong Il for president for all I care. (Too soon? Well that was kind of the point. Nominate a deceased person. With "questionable" politics. Moving on...) But what I find EXTREMELY hilarious is the way people try to defend themselves... (and really, I was literally sobbing from laughing so hard at these comments. I'm not just being facetious when I say it's hilarious.)

Wait for it... "straight rights." Kelly, I love your music and I'm not ashamed to say that, but LMFAO @ STRAIGHT RIGHTS. Maybe you were just trying to show how "super-inclusive" you are (don't forget the air quotes!!), but I seriously fucking hate it when people think that listing random colors or talking about "straight people's rights" --which, by the way, is oh I don't know, all of 'em, if you were wondering-- somehow legitimizes their claims of being inclusive and supportive, when all it does is emphasize their privilege and erase actual minority groups. We are more than just the colors of our skin, and our struggles run deeper than your offhanded, defensive comments.

Your choice of a candidate is... questionable, at best. Not a Ron Paul fan, but again, whatever, that's your choice. Can't say I'm that surprised. (But yeah, technically speaking, others have a right to comment as well. They shouldn't be so rude, but "getting upset" as the media seems to put it is fair game.) But seriously, you should have stopped there, because now you actually sound stupid and mildly offensive. Straight rights my ass.

Oh, but the funniest thing I've heard tonight? "Ron Paul is the intellectual's choice for 2012." LOL NO.

When a slash fic relies heavily on stereotyping and heterosexism/heteronormativity...

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a.k.a Why I Never Sleep

[TW for heterosexism and monosexism, and related topics.] oh, and a warning for possibly incoherent rambling. I'm exhausted.

Please excuse my bitchiness. I'm tired, sick (again), and irritated with fandom. And I'll be focusing on male/male relationships because, as always, everything is Drarry. But everything kind of hurts.

Ugh. Stop. Stop that. Yes, I'm about to tell you you're doing it wrong. (And I'm talking about the stories where it's obvious that the author feels a certain way and it's not just a how a character is supposed to think or feel because it's relevant to the plot. Or even just characterization. I'm talking about those stories where it's not intentionally inflammatory, where the AUTHOR'S ignorance is just so bloody obvious that you wonder how a romantic slash story can come off as so unbelievably fucking homophobic...)

Ok, we get it. The majority of people who write and enjoy slash are straight teenage girls. But would it kill you to think outside of stereotypes and tropes? I don't know what's worse sometimes, a fic's stereotyping or it's comments. So, writers and readers of all fandoms, take note:

A) Not all people who date one sex or gender and "suddenly" start dating another sex or gender are gay, or experimenting, or confused, or liars, or whatever other descriptors you've assigned them. And please for the love of all that is slashy, stop calling bi characters "sluts" and "whores" and "desperate." It gets old fast. Things to note here: DIVERSITY DAMMIT, and enough of the bashing. It just makes you look like an ass.

B) If I read one more fucking fic about how all gay men are effeminate "nancy boys/poofs/fairies" (oh yes, I am quoting. Narrator's POV. What are you doing.) and what it means to be a "proper, self-respecting gay man" who must always dress well and is a total manwhore blah blah blah "I'm not a girl!" and "be a real man!"--- seriously. It gets old. Same old stereotypes. No one cares. But hey, surprise! There are a ton of gay men out there who do not fit the stereotypes. And that's totally cool. Let's run that again. Effeminate gay guy? Totally cool. Stereotypically masculine gay guy? Totally cool. Everything in between and all around and here and there and (le gasp!) nonbinaries? Totally cool. You can just let them be themselves without drawing excessive attention to the fact that they're not stereotypes. It's slash. We get it. Dude's into other dudes. Enough of the pigeonholing and labeling and get to the good stuff already.

C) Speaking of girls - is it AT ALL possible for you to discuss male sexuality without bashing other genders or gender presentations? I mean really? Really? Thank you so much for referring to me as a weak, overemotional disgusting being no self-respecting queer man would touch with a ten foot pole. Really. I appreciate it. Long story short - sexist and transphobic comments? NOT. FUCKING. WELCOME.

D) Related to both B and C - There is no "guy" and "girl" of a slash relationship. Would you go up to a same-sex couple and ask who's the man and who's the woman? (Please don't answer that. It scares me to think of how many of you would.) There is no seme/uke dynamic in most real relationships. A seme/uke relationship, as it exists in the BL/Yaoi/slash world, is typically not one of equals. In most cases (though this is starting to change), it's a perpetuation of traditional gender roles with pretty boys (because they're the only ones who matter and make a pretty story, don'tcha know) and it isn't anything like the majority of same-sex couples. There isn't always one dominant super masculine ideal who ALWAYS tops, with a submissive effeminate bottom, like in those stupid quizzes: Do you prefer candy? or a SWORD RAWR. Um, no. Generally doesn't work like that.

Why do we continue to force characters into preconceived, socially mandated, gender roles? Why do we argue over who's a top and who's a bottom based on their personalities and body types? Do you have any idea how stupid that actually sounds, like someone can't enjoy a certain form/method of pleasure because they're bossy/assertive/short/quiet/[insert random adjective here]??? Does it really make you think that much less of person or character because they prefer one "role" over another? It's ok to have preferences -- but it's more than a little ridiculous to assume you can tell someone else's by the way they think or act. Ho-lee-crap. No, topping or bottoming does not have to correspond to someone's personality, or a gender role. (And yet no one seems to be willing to think outside of the seme/uke dynamic. Ever. I've developed a game, actually. For fics. I can, with 98% accuracy, guess which character is going to "top," based solely on how they've been written. Weak, submissive, effeminate stereotype? lol like he'd ever top. -_-" Stop that. C'mon, guys! Break free of gender roles and norms! Tear apart those stereotypes! Live a little! Show some diversity!!!) And don't even get me started on "straight acting" or bi stereotypes or anything else right now. I've gotten all of 3 hours sleep in the past 2 days and it's looking to be another long night.

I'm not saying that there isn't some truth to the stereotypes. Yes, a lot of people fit into them. And again, totally cool. You be you. But it's the over-generalizations and assumptions that are harmful. And seriously fucking annoying. Where's your creativity? Expose yourself to LGBTQ cultures before taking on a slash project, perhaps. Watch Queer as Folk, and compare and contrast the stereotypes there to what people actually talk about and do. THINK ABOUT YOUR CHARACTERS' ACTUAL PERSONALITIES BEFORE YOU SHOVE THEM INTO A BLOODY BOX. Would _______ actually act that way? Would _______ actually give a shit about blushing prettily and being *mecha kawaii~*~* for the big, strong, dominant macho man who's about to fuck him senseless? Maybe, maybe not. He doesn't have to fit into a neat little box. He doesn't have to fit an existing stereotype or gender role. Let him be himself without the added pressure of conforming to something he's not, just for the sake of fitting what YOU and the rest of the world think he should be because of his orientation. Enough of the fucking boxes. Enough. I take your box and I SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER.

And most importantly, ditch the leather pants and let's head back to my place, ok?

Petitions, and Messy Glee Feelings - SOPA and "Cure the Gay"

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I'm bringing this up for a very good reason, and it's related to some other things going on right now, some of them personal actually, so bear with me? I just need to rant. Ignore what's after the cut if you want. It's long and windy and unorganized and Glee related.

Real world shit that matters - there are petitions going around about "cure the gay" clinics in South America. Here's one - Please sign!!!

~ Tell Ecuadorian President @MashiRafael and @SantiagoACanton to shut down anti- #LGBTQ "Cure the gay" clinics NOW http://www.allout.org/en/actions/ecuadorclinics #p2

~ And another huge concern - the widely opposed Stop Online Piracy Act aka the Internet Blacklist Bill. Backlash from around the globe against this bill has been PHENOMENAL, but we need every netizen's support. Sign | every | fucking | petition you can find, write letters, call. AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. If this bill goes through tomorrow, the Department of Justice gets to decide which sites you visit and who gets priority. All they have to do is claim that a site infringing upon a copyright, and it's blocked. This includes your blogs. This includes Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter, Amazon, Youtube, TPB, every forum that ever existed. The internet does NOT need to fucking be censored. No government or private agency has the right to control the internet. Tonight, we fight. Protect your freedom of speech.  Join Google, Facebook, eBay, Mozilla, AOL, and others in preventing an internet blacklist. (P1r4735 - HOIST THE COLORS. WE ATTACK AT DAWN.)


One little offhand comment like that can ruin someone's life.

I am really frustrated right now... Long story short, there's been an ongoing feud between two of the characters. If you remember from my older Glee posts, there was an episode about Santana Lopez coming to terms with her sexuality. And the other character is the step-brother of "token gay kid" Kurt Hummel. His name is Finn Hudson. So anyway, Santana's back to being a bully this season, and she's been giving Finn a hard time with a constant stream of nasty insults. They duked it out in a crowded hallway... She went to walk away, and he made a rather loud comment about how she should just come out of the closet already.


There's video of this.

Ok, now that you've seen it for yourself... I don't entirely mind that Finn said this to her, because while he could have said something else or been a little more discreet about disclosing someone's deep, dark personal secrets, it is rather true; and it's understandable that he snapped and probably wasn't thinking. In a different setting, I think she could have benefited from hearing this, actually. I do entirely mind, however, that he said this in public and pretty much shouted it down a hall full of students, one of which used it as campaign fodder against one of the teachers. And I do entirely mind that there are people who think that she deserved to be publicly outed just because she's a bitch. I think they were both in the wrong, but the consequences she has to face are a hell of a lot worse. No one ever deserves to be outed. Yes, Santana deserves to be held accountable for the things she's said and done, and she absolutely has to stop bullying people (though it makes for wonderful drama and I'm sorry but I do actually find the character to be incredibly funny sometimes. I like insult comedy. I'm a bitch. Sue me.), but you have got to be fucking kidding me if you think that being outed is an appropriate punishment for anyone. How can we all agree that it was wrong for Blaine to do the same exact thing if suddenly it's totally ok because it's Santana and everyone hates her? (She's one of my favorite characters, as a "villain" type, but sometimes I really hate her too. It's same with Draco, so don't even give me that...) Even if we take Finn out of the picture and say it was an accident -- this girl's life could be at risk. She could lose her home. They live in a small, homophobic little town, in a school where kids are regularly bullied for all matter of reasons. She was not the worst of the bullies there, as cruel as she may be. She wasn't ready yet. And there is no reason whatsoever that anyone, ever, should deserve to be outed against their will. The asshat running for  Congress or whatever, the guy running the ad ON NATIONAL TV that outs her to the entire fucking country? The true douchebag of the episode for sure.

If you don't feel like reading all of that - yeah, she deserved to be told off for being a bully, and for using bullying as a shield to hide her secrets. She DID NOT deserve to be outed, and Finn should not have even mentioned any fucking thing about closets or coming out. Because guess what?  NO ONE has the fucking right to call someone a coward because they're not ready to come out yet. I know I've already discussed this topic, so I don't want to take up too much time on it. But this... I just can't. I think it's so cute how people are dismissing it, though, as humiliation. Because that's all this is, right? Being outed is humiliating, nothing more. Never mind she might not have a house to go home to later that night. Never mind she might not even make it back there to begin with. I don't think Finn even realizes just what he's done, what's happening because of what he chose to say. I think his words in the scene and at the end are a perfect example of just how little he realizes how big a deal it actually is. "Everyone at school knows..." "The whole school already knows." He thinks because he thinks everyone already knows that it's ok to just say in the open, fuck consequences because (hey! straight privilege!) he doesn't have to think about them! As far as he's concerned, there are none! Forget the fact that his own brother went through hell because he's gay.


I don't think ANYONE  realizes the magnitude of what he said versus what she did. Contrary to what everyone is insisting, Santana never actually outed Kurt or Dave. She made gay jokes about Kurt before he came out and she threatened to out Dave if he didn't agree to be her beard. That is a fact.

And a lot of my LGBTQ+ interwebz friends and I have been sort of talking about this, what it's like to be forced out, to lose that control of something that is purely yours (and can be dangerous to you). Intentional or not, what happened in that hallway was really upsetting for a lot of us. And what happened because of it, even more so. What COULD happen now that it's been broadcast to the entire town. How easy it must be for someone who's never had to live with that fear to say there's nothing wrong with being outed in a homophobic environment as a justification for insulting someone. When someone even brings up your sexuality or your status (closeted or out), as an argument against you, as a punishment, they're taking away your agency, and more than that. It's an attack. They're taking away your right to come out when you're ready and willing, and your right to privacy. It can be so fucking scary... Your entire life can be at stake. You don't know what will happen to you. And so long as this country, this world treats you like a second-class citizen or a criminal, odds are the shit that happens to you from here on out is up to you to deal with on your own. People cay say "it gets better" all they want; but this is the present, and this is real, and this is what matters right now. Better doesn't just happen. The promise of someday doesn't keep parents from kicking their children out of their homes; it doesn't keep a jerk from beating the crap out of someone; it doesn't keep the priests and the fundamentalists from condemning us to hell, sometimes violently; it doesn't keep the "cure the gay" and "lesbian rape therapy" from destroying lives NOW. (See the top of this post for a petition.)

Santana is a 17 or 18 year old high school student. She obviously still depends on her family for food and clothes and shelter; probably for college too. All of that is now up in the air. Her private life is now being shared with the entire country, against her will, and she hasn't even come out to her parents yet. How the fuck do you say that she was justified after she has to go through something like that? She did some seriously fucked up things in this episode alone, including pelting the tiny new kid with balls until he bled. But I just cannot for the life of me understand why anyone would wish that kind of pain on someone. Why anyone thinks that's a fair punishment. The Straight While Male calls the little Latina Lesbian a coward for being closeted and outs her in a public place (after which the details of said conversation are broadcast nationwide) literally putting her safety and livelihood at risk; but she totally had it coming because she's a self-identified bitch, so it's cool. You must be so fucking privileged. Sincerely, a fat, queer, pangendered-but-female-presenting-whatever-that-means person of color who has been bullied and mocked for all of the above.

And for the record, no I don't think she should have hit him. (And Cory-- the actor who plays Finn-- says that slap was 100% real. Ouch. That was HARD. I mean. OUCH.) I try my best not to condone violence as well. But I have to say, if I were her, I know I would have done the same thing too.

TL;DR - I think they were both wrong. They both went too far. But if I absolutely had to pick a side, I'm taking Santana's. They both went too far, but Finn went WAY too far. The consequences of Finn's comments are far worse and far more damaging. And I think he could have chosen a better way to make the same point, while being just as effective in calling her out on the bullying.

Honestly, I am so fucking done with the drama of Glee. The fandom. I love my Pirates, but this show... It's a comedy and/or a drama or some shit like that, it's dropping viewers like flies and why? Because it makes jokes out of rape and foster families and abuse, as well as sexuality and other serious issues. It tries so hard to be serious and hard-hitting while simultaneously trying to pass itself off as a light-hearted, fun musical comedy, which really does not work with the subject matter. The writing is sloppy and inconsistent, and it's really fucking obvious that it's become all about the ratings and money and not about the stories. Almost no one but the diehard fans are left.

R.I.P. #lgbt

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... Before I head to bed... I just... Can I talk about something for a moment?

It's National Coming Out Month. I live in a country where we're supposed to be "free" to pursue the things that make us happy and free to be who we are. So tell me then... why is it that we're not? Why is it that every single day we're still fighting for our right to live our lives the way we're meant to? To be treated as equal human beings, regardless of the things we cannot change? The things that never should have mattered in the first place... And I'm told -- we're told-- that things will get better. All around the world, things will get better. And we try to make them better, but...

So many lives are lost because others can't accept us for who we are. Whether it's by our own hands, after years of bullying or abuse, like Tyler and Jamey and all the others, or... or by the violent hands of others.

Stuart Walker. Beaten and burned to death. He was 28. 
Jamey Hubley, 15
Jamey Rodemeyer, 14


Rest in Peace.

"No one is immune from criticism." Especially not Dan Fucking Savage. #LGBT

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Yo. I know right, two posts in two days! What's the world coming to?? Anyway, I'm getting annoyed with myself for writing up all these ranty things and never publishing them, so for a while I'll queue up some things... starting with this. Long story short, I kind of got into a... an argument with someone I sort of considered a "friend" over something a prominent asshat said, and I needed to rage. And I couldn't share it here because that person would have seen it. So instead of publishing it anywhere, I talked it over with Wifey... Anyway, it's been a few months, I no longer give a shit what that person thinks of me (because they haven't the first clue about who I am), and what I said is still relevant. And probably angry, because this is a subject I talk about often...

I mentioned the Dan Savage thing already, right? That's what this is about. Or rather, that's what started this.

Here goes:

This is a rant. Just need/want to get it out. I would typically keep this to my regular blog, but due to various circumstances...

"Dan, when it comes to bisexuality, you are wrong. You are wrong about bisexuals, you are wrong to treat us the way you do and you are certainly wrong to treat our outrage as some sort of childish tantrum." -- [via afterelton.com]
"People who have a problem with bisexuals do not get to define whether or not their actions are biphobic. " [same article, same author,  from his comment here]

Now that I'm a little bit calmer than last night (and I say a little bit because the more I think about this, the more annoyed I get) -

This part is directed at a personal conversation. Not on Tumblr, but I just want to get it out instead of getting into a public fight about it. 

[Who the fucking hell are you to tell me how to live, or tell me who I can or can't dislike for the things they continue to say about "people like me"? If you agree with them, whatever, that's your deal, but I don't. And there are thousands more who agree with me. And I will continue to fucking fight their idiotic, bigoted ideas whenever the fucking hell I please. Stick up for them if you want to, it's always up for debate, but do NOT fucking tell me that my views are invalid because you think you know my life story. You know nothing about me or what I think or how I feel.

You do not get to dictate how I live, how any person gets to live their life. You are not the authority on LGBT issues, or bisexuality. Just because YOU can live a certain way does NOT mean we all have to "follow [your] shining example." And Dan Savage does not fucking know shit.]

For someone who created the It Gets Better campaign, you would really think he'd know better. "It Gets Better - for everyone but you, whiny butthurt bisexuals. Until you come out as gay or straight." -- to paraphrase.

Yes, Dan does GREAT things for the LGBT community. Even if it's mostly the G part. No one is denying that. But the biggest problem is, he's supposed to be a high-profile "expert," the advocate, and "enlightened mentor." Prominent, influential LEADER. People refer to him as a LEADER in the LGBT community and rights movement. That's what he TRIES to be. He has authority, he has a voice. THIS is why these things piss me off so much. He is in a position of power - he has the audience, the means, the clout, the ability to reach a large audience and influence thousands (if not more). He is someone who speaks for the community. And for someone who claims to support equality to constantly belittle and mock and bastardize LGBT+ groups, especially in a public forum, is just plain hypocritical and wrong. As someone said about this issue, you're either for equality or you aren't.

tl;dr - Dan Savage is a condescending, privileged asshat with a history of ignorant, biphobic, trans-phobic, anti-asexual, fat-phobic, sexist, sometimes racist, bigoted, self-important remarks, who claims to be super supportive and all for equality and tolerance but clearly is not. Yeah, he's done a lot of good, but he does A LOT of harm as well. And I have every fucking right to call him out on it. He's taken a personal grudge against a bi ex and generalized it into a mini-vendetta against all multisexuals. And people believe he's right. It's exactly because of the crap he says that makes it so hard for people to accept us, and makes it harder for us to come out. Maybe I should reword that - he is perpetuating the harmful stereotypes and slurs that

I love the IGB project (even though I do also think that it's not entirely perfect either), but at this point it's pretty much all done by everyday people anyway, not him. So no, I will not fucking sing the praises of Dan Savage. I do not think he's someone to be unquestioningly admired or put up on a pedestal the way he has been. He's human and flawed just like the rest of us. He does NOT always know what he's talking about. His word is NOT law. He's a glorified advice columnist, not an actual expert. Again, I'm not denying that he's done quite a lot of good. But he's also been an unapologetic bully, and to deny that does just as much harm as the bullshit he says.  It's never too late to change. So Dan, I'll be waiting for the day when you realize just how wrong you are and how wrong you've been, and apologize to the many people you've truly hurt. Because unlike you apparently, I believe in forgiveness, and acceptance. Oh, and not assuming that my experiences and worldview are the center of the universe.

Dan - There's a huge fucking difference between being snarky and being an asshat. Learn it.

In addition to all of that -: Do you know who it is that benefits the most from Dan Savage and things like the It Gets Better Project? Do you have any idea who organizations like HRC and GLAAD, and their campaigns like marriage equality and adoption tout and promote and benefit the most? White cis monosexual upper middle class, for the most part. Privilege.

It's not as easy as they would like to think. Maybe some people can afford to move to neighborhoods where they'll be accepted. Maybe some people can afford to risk losing their job and livelihood by coming out. Maybe some people can risk being kicked out of their homes because they can support themselves or find help if they need it. Not everyone is that lucky, or privileged. To shrug it all of with an "It gets better, so just sit tight," or  is actually pretty awful advice that gives the pretense of caring without ever actually having to do anything. Are you REALLY that oblivious and self-centered that you don't or can't realize that not everyone's life will be like yours? Guess what - for some people, it DOESN'T get better. And for some people, being closeted is a sucky option but it's the best. Not everyone has a life of sunshine and rainbows and never-ending wealth to fall back on when everything falls to shit. Pressuring others to come out because YOU think it's the "cool" thing to do, because YOU think everything will be perfect in someone else's life, is utterly selfish, rude, presumptuous. You are not an authority on anyone's life but your own, so please shut the fuck up and mind your own business.

All I can say to those on the other side of this - when you're ready. Not when someone else is ready for you to be. Fuck them. This isn't about them and what they want; this is about YOU. No one knows your life better than you do.

So while we all fight for those marriage equality and other middle class issues, never forget the DREAM Act, and ENDA, and other things that, I'm sorry to say it [this way], matter so much more to so many more right now.

Let's Hear it for New York!!! #lgbt #ny4m

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When I stop crying (which will be never) - A HUGE ROUND OF APPLAUSE FOR THE NEW YORK SENATE!!!

Same-sex marriage was just legalized, in a 33-29 vote. 

Yeah, you read that right. I'll update later with details and specifics, and videos, but just... I am so fucking proud of them. (Can I move back there? I was born in NY, my parents grew up there -- well, my mom did after she immigrated here as a teen. Most of my family is there.)

I hope NJ is next. Really. Jerk governor or not, love is love.

Glee &... #biphobia? Not tonight!! Part 3 - Brittana WIN

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(p.s - to make GIFs stop moving, just hit ESC...) another post-Glee sleepy recap/review/commentary thing

UPDATE: THIS is why last night was so amazing. Short version.

Fuck You, Ryan Murphy. #glee #biphobia #spoilers

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WARNING – This is regarding Glee spoilers for later in the season. So If you want to be surprised, or aren’t up to date with your episodes (2x12 Silly Love Songs), stop reading now. (This isn’t really about Glee itself, but about comments made by the creator regarding bisexuality.) And it's really really long, and this is the short version. (Not this. Scroll down to the Read More jump for the full post.)

So TL;DR:

Things I have said re: "Blaine’s bi episode":

http://darkangelkie.tumblr.com/post/3221857435/cracktastic-blind-item-gay-character-not-so-gay

http://darkangelkie.tumblr.com/post/3305230550/blaine-is-not-bi-he-is-gay-and-will-always-be

http://darkangelkie.tumblr.com/post/3306031189/blaine-will-openly-question-whether-bisexuality

And I totally agree with this one as well: http://sarcasmismyphilosophy.tumblr.com/post/3316936912/blaine-will-openly-question-whether-bisexuality

Sunday Updates - BP Spill, #LGBT & #DADT, Prison Geeks, etc.

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Did you think I was going to totally ignore the US just because I skipped the SOTU? Nah, I can totally do both! It's just going to be kind of low key this week, you know, laid back. Maybe even a bit silly at times. And I just need to actually find out what's going on in the US... (I needed to take a break for a while. America really pisses me off sometimes...)

• BP Oil Spill - Surprise, surprise, the oil's still down there. And guess what? So are the dispersants. (Warning - high science content! Yay!)
• 63 year old Roger Stockham was arrested today outside one of the largest mosques in the country, in Dearborn, Michigan. He carried with him a large quantity of explosives.
• While I don't particularly want to draw attention to certain people right now, I thought this was worth sharing today: out of all the Rush Limbaugh boycotts we've seen over the years, I don't think any of them have been as widespread and fast-moving as this one. His racist comments and derogatory imitations following Chinese President Hu Jintao's visit to the US have spurred a national backlash among activists and Asian-Americans. California state senator Leland Yee (D, from San Francisco) is at the forefront of this movement demanding an apology from Limbaugh, as well as a withdrawal from his sponsors. And in related news, Glenn Beck's ratings have dropped to an all time low and are continuing to fall. So low he has apparently already been dropped by NY's WOR station. See, I thought we could use a bit of good news...
• Have I mentioned what's been going on with DADT lately? We might see some action on the implementation of repeal as soon as February 4th. Hey, it's a start. We're getting there.
• In other LGBT news, Brenda Namigadde, a lesbian woman from Uganda, won temporary reprieve from deportation back to Uganda (where she would very, very likely be killed...). A British High Court judge granted an injunction.
• Also Re: Uganda - on that same day, David Kato, the gay rights leader who was recently murdered, was buried. Many believe that his death occurred as a result of the American evangelicals who had increased anti-gay sentiments (Maddow video) and influenced Uganda's "Kill the Gays" law, as well as the Rolling Stone tabloid's vicious hit list.
• And on a semi-related note, it seems that gay people seeking asylum in America are being faced with a new and appalling challenge. In the Czech Republic, gay asylum seekers were forced to undergo arousal testing (fellow psych geeks should know how this works... It used to be done on prisoners, if they were gay or sexual offenders, in America, for "rehabilitation" research. For everyone else - imagine being forced to watch porn while a scientist stares at, pokes, and measures the responses of your nether-regions... And if it's just not doing it for you, you're labeled "sick.") Men are given two options - get measured, or get deported. While I could rant about about all of the problems with mandatory arousal testing (especially how it discriminates against asexuals), I'll let you research that for yourself. In the US today, asylum seekers are forced to conform to an immigration officer's idea of what a LGBT person should look or act like. LGBT people are being forced to "prove" their gayness by representing stereotypes and submitting to humiliating "tests," just to be taken seriously.
• This just cracks me up. Apparently even geeks in prison want the right to play D&D (that's Dungeons & Dragons for all of you non-geeks out there. I'm a proud nerd and tech/art/book geek. D&D is much lower on the hierarchy of geekdom, so my knowledge on the subject is very limited. But I know the name and that it involves role-playing of some sort and dice with many sides... I dunno, google it.) Apparently some prison officials have banned the game because they believe it could lead to gang behavior. Gang behavior. And escape fantasies. (Well, I'm sure there is some sort of fantasy involved in playing the game, and I'm sure many prisoners already have "escape fantasies." But I suspect the point they're talking about, or anything worth worrying about, is actually not so much a fantasy but a psychological disorder... Extreme delusions?) And like I said, the image that popped into my head... A gang of this:
  

That's a hardcore gang member alright! The death penalty will never be a deterrent - but mandatory D&D games? Ack.

• Boehner felt a need to comment on his crying... Honestly, it's not a big deal. Men can cry. It's allowed. In fact, it's encouraged. It's ok, dude, let your feelings out. You're allowed to have them. You're human. Just don't ever diss a woman for being "too emotional" either. And please, for the love of ____, stop tanning!!!
• Remember the Rent is Too Damn High guy who was trying to run for NY governor? Jimmy McMillan? Apparently now he's running for president in 2012. As a Republican-- so that he doesn't have to face Obama in a primary. 
• On a side note, he has interesting views... I'd say he might actually be sort of moderate. Admires a certain Alaskan's political views, wants to essentially force one parent to stay home and raise the children, supports allowing Christianity to dictate/influence laws, doesn't believe in global warming... But also completely supports LGBT rights and gives full support for marriage equality, believes in free (in state?) college tuition, social justice, federal education programs and social programs for senior citizens. At least he did, when he was running for governor. Yet somehow he plans to do all of this by cutting taxes (for property owners). I'm not entirely sure how lowering taxes will "raise tax revenue," but good luck with that.
• There was a protest in California today, against the Koch brothers
• Whatever happened to rules reform in the Senate? All I've seen is this - it failed?
• This just in in World News - Sudan suceded?!

I'll try to update this a little more, later. There are few really interesting things in my news feed right now... I need to slough through it some more.

I sure hope so. (RT@ltdanchoi)

Obama Signs DADT Repeal Into Law | TPMDC

Obama Signs DADT Repeal Into Law

WOOT! WE DID IT! It's official- DADT repeal is law. Now the question is, how long will it take until we truly see the end? The military is supposed to stop discharging LGBT soldiers within 60 days of the bill's signing, but there are some practical concerns that have to be addressed as well-- benefits packages, housing of families (& apparently other living/shower arrangements? I don't think there's a real need for that.) recognizing marriages and civil unions, etc. I see a lot of new paperwork in their future... But it can be done, and it will be done, and then we can get back to work on DOMA, and ENDA, and equal pay for women. (I went off on a mini-rant when Obama started talking about how men and women are treated as equals in America. I'll believe it when I see it. [Just as a note, I do not identify as a feminist. I'm an egalitarian. And I'm going to backtrack and delete what I was about to say, because I'm getting way off topic, and heading into the "off-limits" zone...])


So TL;DR: DADT has been officially repealed, but we're still waiting for it to really end. Still, progress is progress.

Mid-Week Updates. Because I felt like it. | #DADT, #DREAM, #FCC

Mid-week updates:

• You may have noticed a few minor changes here and there. I'm renovating! New year, new look. (Well, maybe. I don't know how far I'm planning on going with this, but we'll see...) Storyteller Knight has also been promoted! Yay! lol... She now officially has her own page here,  accessible from the link at the top. Check it out. (Uh, layout's still a work in progress ^^" I got into a fight with the html & css editor... Ultimately, I won, but it was a long, hard battle with a bit of collateral damage.)
• I think I should make a general statement regarding a topic that has been brought up far more times than I am comfortable with. Several people have mentioned or asked about the Assange rape allegations and events stemming from it (more specifically, controversial comments made by 2 very well-known media figures). Other than the brief and somewhat off-hand comments I made regarding this situation before, I don't want to talk about it, I don't want to think about it, I'm not going to discuss it. I've had enough of horrifying sex abuse stories for one year. Between this, and the Columbia "consensual" incest thing [shudder], and all of the other stories I hear on a daily basis, I don't want to think about it. This sensitive topic is already one that rarely leaves a woman's mind, and in light of recent events, I would like to ask that you not attempt to discuss it with me, or on this particular page at this time. (I believe Storyteller Knight may be interested, *hint-hint* so maybe you should head over to her new page. Yes, this is also a shameless plug. Believe me, I can fit these in anywhere. Plus it takes my mind off of the topic for a moment, so...) I don't think either side would like what I have to say on the subject, and as I've gone off on one too many fem-rants this week, I would really rather not get involved in the feud. So I'm staying out of it and keeping my mouth shut, lest someone get their head bitten off. ([grumbles] Fucking asshole called me "Baby"...)
• The FCC caved. Bye-bye net neutrality, hello "premium corporate speed lane" for those of you with the $$$. The rest of us will probably be waiting for Facebook to load, so that we can complain about how slow the internet's gotten. That is, if Facebook doesn't get on AT&T's shit-list.
• And the only news I really care about right now - DADT repeal bill is getting signed tomorrow, 9:15AM EST. I'll be watching. I have to say, I'm pretty impressed by how much is getting done in the lame duck session. We've had 2 years with few major bills getting through, and now all of a sudden we have DADT repeal, the START treaty, the Food Safety bill now sitting on President Obama's desk, this tax "deal" (regardless of how I feel about it, or the FCC deal, fact is something actually got done for once). Now if Obama & Congress can just pass the 9/11 Responders bill, close Gitmo, repeal DOMA, do something productive and proactive to fix the immigration system, up job growth, and end these stupid, expensive wars, he might do alright after all... I think that might be enough to make everybody happy. (What a wish list, eh? But that is their job...)
• Speaking of fixing immigration, I came across some comments the other day that suggested (well, ok, flat out said) that the DREAM Act is just another way to say "amnesty." How is it amnesty if they're required to work for it? Getting into, paying for (without scholarships!), and completing 2 years of college is super easy? Military service is "just a giveaway?" I'm not sure I'd buy that argument.
• Even Fox News was in on the WTF?! regarding the obstruction of the 9/11 responders healthcare bill.
• Oh yea... Speaking of the Food Safety bill, I'm going to take a few moments to totally bask in the glory of being totally right for once ^^". Remember a while back I got into that argument with all of those people on Care2 regarding their claims that the bill would allow the government to take over people's personal gardens? And remember how I kept showing them that the bill explicitly stated that it was intended for farmers only, and I kept asking them to clarify exactly where they were seeing this "garden" clause? Yea, well they couldn't tell me. Because it was "sugar-coded [sic]". Yea right. Like I said, IT WASN'T THERE! Politifact ruled that statement to be Pants On Fire. So yay, 10 points for Kiely!
• Massive snowstorm in Europe... and I'm dreading the fact that we're actually supposed to have a "white Christmas" as well this year. I hate snow. And I hate it even more when I have to shovel it.

Alright, that's enough of that...  I have very little time before the sibling from hell arrives home from college. This is my last chance to spend some time alone, for almost an entire month. I want to enjoy it while I can...

More DADT comments...

Still suppressing disappointment about the DREAM Act. Obama has insisted that he's not giving up on it. Which to me doesn't really mean much right now, but I won't take it off the list just yet...

Anyway, I was posting a reply to a comment on one of my many forums, and decided against sharing a huge chunk of what I wrote (leaving my response to a meager 2 sentences). So since I've already typed it up, I thought I might as well just stick it here:

DADT has done much more harm than the so-called "good compromise" it was purported to be. Instead of protecting LGBT soldiers from potential harm or "protecting" hetero soldiers from being uncomfortable, it left the door wide open for LGBT soldiers to be abused and unable to defend themselves out of fear of losing their careers, everything they had worked towards, simply because of who they were. As many soldiers noted during the survey and various interviews, they knew that there were LGBT people living and working with them, sharing showers, etc. I think any fear associated with being ogled in the showers, or sleeping in the same barracks is pretty irrational. Nothing happened before, nothing's going to happen when DADT is officially repealed.  The only difference is now everyone can know who's gay/bi and who's not.

The military's moral code isn't going to go flying out the window because soldiers are finally allowed to be honest. If there are soldiers who are so uncomfortable being around openly gay people that it affects their ability to do their job, they should not be there... To put it simply, it's very unprofessional. Many of us will at some point in our lives have to work with people who make us uncomfortable. But part of our job is sucking it up, getting over it, and getting the job done, as a team, regardless of any personal feelings.


By the way, this was me trying not to start a fight, cuz I seem to accidentally do that often... [sigh] Yea, I know, I'm an annoying know-it-all bitch. What else is new...

All of this being said, I'm absolutely dreading the upcoming year... Between the Tea Party, and applying for grad school, and not having hours at work to pay my bills for a few months (as well as dealing with a few thousand jobs being cut in my state, & competing amongst thousands of 99ers for another entry-level position)... I don't see much being particularly good for a while. Oh well. So let's enjoy this victory while we can.

DADT Repealed by Congress!!!

Ok, President Obama. Another promise kept. Thanks, man. (But I'm still going to pout in the corner over the tax "deal" thing, and Gitmo, and surges in Afghanistan, and [grumbles on...])

You'll have to forgive me for posting this so late. I had work, & then spent the rest of the night celebrating/getting distracted... After all the efforts we've put in over the years, all of the letters, the phone calls, the donations, the urgent pleas and cries for equality- The military's "Don't Ask Don't Tell" policy has been REPEALED. All that's left is the President's signature. Granted, the repeal doesn't go into effect immediately-- the armed forces will have a period of time to make any necessary adjustments to ensure a smooth "transition" in openness. But they did it. I didn't think they would be able to do it in time, but they did. The Senate passed the stand-alone bill at about 3:02 pm, December 18th, 2010, after a successful cloture vote after 10AM this morning.

It's funny... it was only until this morning that I realized that DADT directly affects me as well. Just last year I had been looking into a job with the army. But being... Well, it occurred to me that I wouldn't be allowed to take the job. I would have been fired if anyone found out... (Though I wonder if I would have even figured it out, had I chosen that route...) And that brief moment of "omg I'm screwed," I feel like I could understand just a bit of what it feels like... To be forced to choose between hiding a part of yourself and lying (under oath) to everyone around you, or losing something you've worked towards your whole life. Though many of us do face smaller incidents like that throughout our lives. I'm "closeted" IRL because I choose to be. Not because of fear of backlash (anyone who matters pretty much knows anyway, or I'm working up to it, and thankfully, they don't seem to care), but because I dislike awkwardness. (Plus my family already treats me  So for all of that joking around that DADT was my last chance at legally dodging the draft [insert smirk], I'm so very thrilled that it's going to end. If the military is what you want, you should be allowed to serve openly, just the way you are. And if others can't accept that, can't/won't do their jobs because they have a problem with that, they shouldn't be alongside you. I certainly wouldn't want them to be. So if the paleos' fears of a "max exodus" should actually happen, I say this-- good riddance. Way to prove you're weak and can't hack a "hardship." (Yea, I'm just being a brat tonight because I'm so happ-eeeee!!!!)

But in less happy news... the DREAM Act failed. I'm waiting to process this info until morning, when all of this really starts to sink in. Tonight, I just want to celebrate. (That & listen to Dr. Rachel Maddow talk about it. ^^" she's totally my hero/girlcrush lol... Nerds r awesome. Oh, and if that wasn't enough... Is this getting creepy now? Lol, I was just curious, and one link lead to another...)

Just a quick, wine-induced shout-out-- to all of us who annoyed the hell out of our senators and reps, and President (especially regarding last week's flood of emails, "tweets," and calls regarding an Executive Order, should Congress have failed...)-- way to go, everyone! WE DID IT! To my awesome senators, Frank Lautenberg and Bob Menendez, & my super-awesome Rep Rush Holt-- Thanks, guys!!! Obviously wouldn't have been possible without you, seeing as you're the ones who actually get to vote & stuff lol... (Menendez- wtf was up with the tax deal, though?! Dude!) To the HRC for their tireless and continued efforts to ensure civil rights for all Americans. To the 8 Republicans who stood up against the rest of their party for the rights of LGBT servicepeople. Way to rock, everyone! 1 down, 3 more to go. DREAM, DOMA/Prop8, ENDA - you're next.