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I'm not in a good place right now. I was up until an hour ago, but some things happened and I just feel... nauseous. Anyway, I've been off doing research for a post (yes, a REAL post!) while trying to catch up with friends and work and... I think people are avoiding me again. Which is... weird. I dunno. I've noticed it doesn't really faze me anymore. I've spent the last year being ignored by my own family members for something I had nothing to do with, and the past 22 23 years being ignored for just being me. So on that front, I'm in kind of a "fuck everyone, inocurr" kind of mood about it all. But I suppose that's part of why I feel so sick... My birthday's coming up. I hate my birthday... and that no one ever really cares or remembers... I'm wondering if he even will.

With tomorrow being what it is, I'll be back to say a few words. I don't know what, as I'm trying hard not to think about it, and about just how much has changed in the world because of it, but I'll be here.

I could really use a hug today.