Life...

Still taking a break from the world... (at least, talking about it), since this "identity crisis" doesn't seem to be slowing down. It's weird being a 20-something now. The New York Times did an article on it recently. It's like being stuck between the teen years and adulthood, with little preparation or closure. College has little to do with the "real world" to some extent-- it's mostly for grad school. It's so far removed from life that when we leave, it's like... now what?? In addition to that, I feel like I personally have reached a point where all of the thoughts and feelings I've suppressed up until now are just... not worth hiding anymore. Life's too short. That's why for this past year I've been so open about things... I'm sick of trying to be someone I'm not. Though then I have to ask myself, well then who am I now? What does this mean for my future?

I remember the article talking about how the 20s have become an extension of our teens-- moving back home, crappy little jobs, not even thinking about starting a family-- and it has less to do with the economy than it has to do with a general shift in the views of society. (And the tens of thousands of dollars of debt we put ourselves into, just to get a mediocre job...) We live longer, and our goals and values have changed over time. No longer is life all about career and family-- there's so much more to the world. And for that, I am thrilled... I thought it was just me. We're in our 20s! We're still young-- there's no need to "grow up" so fast. There's more to life than a cubicle and a mini-van. Life's too short to waste climbing the corporate ladder. There's a whole big world out there to explore... I want to enjoy my life, not hate it.

I need to find a new job... & I hate that I'm not getting ready to go back to school. I was good as a "student." That works for me. I occasionally get texts from my former roomie about how things are going for her, and our other friend occasionally asks me for help with papers and stuff like that... and after dropping my sister off at school this weekend, I'm even more determined to get in to the grad school there. (Harvard & Princeton had NOTHING on that campus!! If I had seen it back then, I would've done anything to go there... [sigh] Ivy League... ew.)

Anyway... There are a few other things I need to figure out, so until then I'll probably be working on one of my other blogs. If you're interested in the process, send me an email and I'll send you a link.

And last but not least - I will be preparing for NaNoWriMo this year, so if I'm writing here instead of working on my novel in November, feel free to yell at me . 50,000 words won't write themselves, you know, and I'm not supposed to start until November 1st. (I highly doubt I can wait that long to start. Feeling pretty inspired right now...) The story I'm planning is probably a little more on the "mature" side than what most people write for NaNo (and thankfully will not be a parody of a romance novel, like one of my other novels :-D), but I think it's the only way I'll ever get around to actually writing this story down, so... yea. It's kind of personal, deep, dark, etc (and fictional, of course), and deals with all sorts of things that I've never really thought about (or that I've never shared) before... so I don't know if I want anyone to read it. Everything you thought you knew about me... would change.