Family History

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(note that everything below is pretty much coming straight from my mother. Everything below that's in italics is me.)

I'm pretty sure that was the first time mom actually told me about the day she moved to the US. She said it was hot and humid that day when she stepped off the plane. It was over 100 degrees and more humid and sticky than she had ever experienced. (I thought that was weird, because that's what I've been told to think of when I think of South America and rainforest regions, but she said it wasn't like that.) She said the stench and the tall, dirty buildings [in NYC] made her want to go back.

Also, I managed to get a straightforward conversation about race politics in Guyana. (Keep in mind that most of this is about the 70s and 80s and my mom was a teenager. I don't know if she knows how things are right now. We have relatives there but I doubt they discuss such things on the few occasions where we hear from them, and the internet only tells me so much.) She was categorized as "dougla" because she's mixed - a Guyanese person of African and Indian/South Asian descent. It's a racial category that's non-hereditary and is based on appearance more than just ethnic background. And apparently it's now considered a slur kind of...? Not surprising. It's just like "coloured or quadroon or octoroon," she said. And that's why sometimes Guyanese people identify as West Indian - because while they're not technically West Indian, they have a lot in common both culturally and ethnically with people in Trinidad and other West Indian countries.

Her mom is really light-skinned and was considered Portuguese, almost white, even though she's part Black. (I forgot exactly what mom said. Close enough. Grandma is super light skinned and while I've recently learned that her natural hair color is actually black, for as long as I can remember she had reddish-blonde hair.) Which explains why Grandma is about as bad as any USian white racist her age :-\ Colorism is apparently a huge part of their categorization. Not surprised. I'd read about it in Brazil (and of course in the US), but it's the first time I've really had an opportunity to hear such a detailed first-hand account from and about my own family.

I just wanted to write this down so I could think about it later and compare it to ... I'm reading Bonilla-Silva again and he got me thinking about my own history in relation to everything else I've learned. (Though really, when am I never not these days... It's like I'm trying to rebuild my identity from scratch, you know? Take away all the internalized hatred, and who or what is left? Is there anything I could learn to fill in the pieces?) Yeah... I have a lot of thinking to do.

Dear Mr. President

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Dear President Obama,

Congratulations on being re-elected!

Sucks you decided to fuck up not even 24 hours later by ordering a drone attack on Yemen. Mr. President, lemme lay this out for you. I voted for you. Twice. Because my personal health and safety depends on YOU and on keeping people like Romney the fuck away from things that affect me and mine. But here's the deal - you keep talkin all this shit bout equality and a brighter future for the world while bombing little children overseas.

You listen right here. You WILL fucking stop that shit. If you think you're gonna be pullin the same damn shit you did last term, you got another think comin. If it means riots in the streets, then so be it. But fuck you if you think we will be silent.

Your administration has been responsible for some of the worst human rights offenses I may ever see in my lifetime. But you are going to fix that this term. Starting with ending drone strikes and ALL of the wars, effective immediately. You are going to change NDAA. You are going to close Guantanamo Bay and stop detaining people without just cause or due trial, and you are going to stop torturing people and ordering people secretly killed. You are going to stop deporting and criminalizing undocumented people who have been living and working in this country -- and you are going to offer them citizenship without forced military service. You are going to tell Israel to fuck off.

Now that we got that straight. They will call you an Angry Black Man regardless - so you are going to show those bastards everything you have. Prove to me that you are worth my trust. GO HARD OR GO HOME. This is your last chance as President to do what you came to do.Your last 4 years. Give us ENDA, give us the closest you can get to real universal healthcare - and not that shit you passed before, however grateful for it I may be. I want schooling to not just be more affordable, but more better. You told me I could trust you to make it better - I want to. Make sure my rights as a queer, mentally ill, POC with a uterus are protected. I am trusting you with that. For the next 4 years, I am entrusting you with my livelihood, my safety, and my future.

I don't expect you to fix everything. I don't expect you to keep every promise you ever made. And I don't expect you to be able to do it all at once, in a year, in two years, maybe not even in four. But I do expect you to be a decent human being, and I do expect you to give it your absolute best. And I'll do my best from where I'm standing. Do we have a deal?

Sincerely,
Kiely

4 MORE YEARS

Yeah, sorry, I liveblogged on Tumblr this time. But we will live! And it's time to really get shit done. No more Mr Nice Guy.

But really- more openly queer people (women! Women of color! Disabled women of color omg!!!) in Congress, a black man re-elected... We did this. This is history, this is big. And our generation saw this become a reality. If Romney had won, I would not have expected to see this for a very long time, maybe not even in my lifetime ;_; I have cried so much tonight and I am so relieved.