Saturday, June 1, 2013

Bye... for now?

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Hello again. It's been a while, I think. A lot's changed, even in the past few months. And as much as I love certain things about this blog, it also holds for me a lot of regrets. But that's life, right? Constantly changing, growing, learning.

I think moving to Tumblr (which became more permanent than I'd realized it would) was a good move. I think I'm becoming a better person because of it. I... I had a lot of letting go to do, and a lot of "soul-searching," so to speak. I know that some things I did were absolutely right - letting go of old "friends," fighting back against abuse (and I am so glad to be able to put a name to some of the things I've experienced over the course of my 24 years.) My life, while still hard to deal with, has gotten better. I have awesome friends. I have a girlfriend now (yep, still bi), and she's really cool. I'll be visiting her soon (oh LDRs... literally cross-country...) I'm slowly but surely getting back to the idea of grad school. I'm surviving. Soon enough, maybe I'll start living.

I no longer identify with a lot of the things I used to. I also know that I said a lot of really fucked up, problematic things. And I've probably mentioned this before. But the person I am now knows better. And I'm sorry.

I don't know if I'll be back on this blog again. Part of me still can't face who I was. Another part of me is just too exhausted to continue - I've almost entirely stopped writing, these days. As well as pretty much everything else.

And part of me feels like perhaps this blog has run its course, and it's time to leave the old me behind.


Sunday, March 31, 2013

Personal.

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Personal things. Incredibly personal things. I'd typically keep this to a private blog, but I think I should just... It's always been one of those things where I'd have to say it in order for people to know (and even then, they'd still doubt me and tell me I'm lying or just trying to be special...)

Saturday, March 23, 2013

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If I ever stop crying, I want to talk about My Chem. I've been with them for 11 of those 12 years, they've been with me for the absolute worst of them, and I feel like a part of me has just died a little. Or a lot. There is maybe 1 other band that could make me feel like this.

So many of their songs are about goodbyes and moving on. But for once, they're not really helping me feel any better.  Maybe tomorrow.

Monday, March 18, 2013

White Feminism, We Meet Again...

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I'm just going to make my own post instead of reblogging on Tumblr. This is that thing I wanted to talk about last night but said I already knew the answer... And the fact that I keep seeing this quote pretty much just reinforces it.
Feminism has fought no wars. It has killed no opponents. It has set up no concentration camps, starved no enemies, practiced no cruelties. Its battles have been for education, for the vote, for better working conditions, for safety in the streets, for child care, for social welfare, for rape crisis centres, women’s refuges, reforms in the law. If someone says, ‘Oh, I’m not a feminist’, I ask, ‘Why? What’s your problem?’  
--- Dale Spender, Man Made Language.  (via izzyinvisible)
What I wanted to talk about is the massive disconnect that seems to exist every time white women talk about sexism and feminism. And I don't mean the feminists who understand intersectionality and why it matters, and those who actively try to combat -isms within the feminist movement and recognize that the movement needs to be more inclusive. This isn't about you. (You probably already know my issues with the above quote anyway.)

I specifically mean those who don't. This is entirely about those who don't, or who think they do but don't, and the women who can't translate one to the other. tl;dr - why don't you omfg. When I'm seeing the same women constantly talking about sexism but can't seem to grasp the idea of applying the same exact concepts to dealing with racism.

The same white women who will in one breath say that men's opinions on sexism don't matter because they don't understand and could never, and in the next, stick your nose into a conversation about cultural appropriation and racism like you understand, like your opinion matters. Like white women talking over women of color is NOTHING like men talking over women. Like you're not privileged at all over WOC.

You'll defend the racist rich white woman who regularly steals from, mocks, and belittles trans* women and WOC, because you think she's a feminist icon. (See: Madonna, Lady Gaga, Jennifer Lawrence, Laci Green, Ke$ha, Lena Dunham, to mention women constantly on my dashboard; Margaret Sanger, etc.) You refuse to understand that in many of these cases, the harm they do to other women tends to drastically overshadow whatever little good they do. The good that they do is only for you, at the expense of other women. 

You want to talk about how feminism has never practiced any cruelties? Believe that no violence has ever occurred or been supported in the name of feminism? (Because of course nothing that ever happens to other women counts as violence...) Racism is violence. Ableism is violence. Cissexism is violence. Classism is violence. So much of white women's empowerment involved forcing Western beliefs and practices on Indigenous and Black women. Stealing and/or killing their children. (Funny that the quote should come from a white Australian feminist....)  Using their bodies for science, and other things I care not to mention right now. Praising white mothers, demonizing mothers of color. Calling a little Black girl a c*nt and then arguing why it's "not even offensive omg why are you making such a big deal out of it FEMINISM YAY."  You attack hijabis in the name of "saving them" from their own culture, you mock weaves and steal dreads and the fashion of WOC. You want equality for women in the workplace, and oh god could I go on forever about this, but you steal their fashion and their culture and the credit and give them nothing in return. Call their businesses quaint and steal their products for your own. You refuse to acknowledge that so much of what you know and love and worship came from WOC. You say it looks better on you anyway.

And I could also add in a part about how the start of white feminism (which completely ignores the efforts of Native women, btw) and the women's suffrage movement was in part due to Black men gaining rights (before white women). Or a part about how white feminism tends to vilify Black men while giving white men a pass (see: Chris Brown, Michael Vick, vs. Hugo S., Alec Baldwin, Jeremy Renner, Michael Fassbender, Robert Downey Jr, etc). Because even though they have male privilege over you, your white privilege still oppresses them too, and your empowerment has historically been used in ways that hurt them, especially as children. But let's keep this simple today and keep the focus on women.

And it brings me right back again to the same question I started with - why is it that you can understand one form of violence but not realize or care that you're perpetuating others?

Why is it that you can believe in and use anti-oppression rhetoric for one issue, but not comprehend and translate the SAME EXACT IDEAS for another?

I used to think it was nothing but cognitive dissonance, but therein lies the problem - there is no dissonance. There should be. It is a HUGE problem that it doesn't even faze you. And that is the sole reason why I'm writing this. 

If someone says, ‘Oh, I’m not a feminist’, I ask, ‘Why? What’s your problem?’”

Because mainstream feminism has historically been heterosexist, racist, classist, cissexist, ableist, etc., and as evidenced by that quote, continues to ignore that fact. All of the things mentioned in that quote have at some point been enacted in such a way that excludes or hurts many who are not cis white women. And it continues to ignore, erase, and contribute to the oppression of poor women, trans* women, and women of color, and any intersections thereof. And pretending otherwise ensures that your moment will never truly achieve equality for anyone who's not just like you.

Friday, January 11, 2013

"Intent matters."

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Something else I've been thinking about, and why Sunday's events were so triggering for me.

TW:  Emotional abuse and gaslighting, discussion of intent in regards to racism and other forms of oppression

Family History

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(note that everything below is pretty much coming straight from my mother. Everything below that's in italics is me.)

I'm pretty sure that was the first time mom actually told me about the day she moved to the US. She said it was hot and humid that day when she stepped off the plane. It was over 100 degrees and more humid and sticky than she had ever experienced. (I thought that was weird, because that's what I've been told to think of when I think of South America and rainforest regions, but she said it wasn't like that.) She said the stench and the tall, dirty buildings [in NYC] made her want to go back.

Also, I managed to get a straightforward conversation about race politics in Guyana. (Keep in mind that most of this is about the 70s and 80s and my mom was a teenager. I don't know if she knows how things are right now. We have relatives there but I doubt they discuss such things on the few occasions where we hear from them, and the internet only tells me so much.) She was categorized as "dougla" because she's mixed - a Guyanese person of African and Indian/South Asian descent. It's a racial category that's non-hereditary and is based on appearance more than just ethnic background. And apparently it's now considered a slur kind of...? Not surprising. It's just like "coloured or quadroon or octoroon," she said. And that's why sometimes Guyanese people identify as West Indian - because while they're not technically West Indian, they have a lot in common both culturally and ethnically with people in Trinidad and other West Indian countries.

Her mom is really light-skinned and was considered Portuguese, almost white, even though she's part Black. (I forgot exactly what mom said. Close enough. Grandma is super light skinned and while I've recently learned that her natural hair color is actually black, for as long as I can remember she had reddish-blonde hair.) Which explains why Grandma is about as bad as any USian white racist her age :-\ Colorism is apparently a huge part of their categorization. Not surprised. I'd read about it in Brazil (and of course in the US), but it's the first time I've really had an opportunity to hear such a detailed first-hand account from and about my own family.

I just wanted to write this down so I could think about it later and compare it to ... I'm reading Bonilla-Silva again and he got me thinking about my own history in relation to everything else I've learned. (Though really, when am I never not these days... It's like I'm trying to rebuild my identity from scratch, you know? Take away all the internalized hatred, and who or what is left? Is there anything I could learn to fill in the pieces?) Yeah... I have a lot of thinking to do.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Dear Mr. President

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Dear President Obama,

Congratulations on being re-elected!

Sucks you decided to fuck up not even 24 hours later by ordering a drone attack on Yemen. Mr. President, lemme lay this out for you. I voted for you. Twice. Because my personal health and safety depends on YOU and on keeping people like Romney the fuck away from things that affect me and mine. But here's the deal - you keep talkin all this shit bout equality and a brighter future for the world while bombing little children overseas.

You listen right here. You WILL fucking stop that shit. If you think you're gonna be pullin the same damn shit you did last term, you got another think comin. If it means riots in the streets, then so be it. But fuck you if you think we will be silent.

Your administration has been responsible for some of the worst human rights offenses I may ever see in my lifetime. But you are going to fix that this term. Starting with ending drone strikes and ALL of the wars, effective immediately. You are going to change NDAA. You are going to close Guantanamo Bay and stop detaining people without just cause or due trial, and you are going to stop torturing people and ordering people secretly killed. You are going to stop deporting and criminalizing undocumented people who have been living and working in this country -- and you are going to offer them citizenship without forced military service. You are going to tell Israel to fuck off.

Now that we got that straight. They will call you an Angry Black Man regardless - so you are going to show those bastards everything you have. Prove to me that you are worth my trust. GO HARD OR GO HOME. This is your last chance as President to do what you came to do.Your last 4 years. Give us ENDA, give us the closest you can get to real universal healthcare - and not that shit you passed before, however grateful for it I may be. I want schooling to not just be more affordable, but more better. You told me I could trust you to make it better - I want to. Make sure my rights as a queer, mentally ill, POC with a uterus are protected. I am trusting you with that. For the next 4 years, I am entrusting you with my livelihood, my safety, and my future.

I don't expect you to fix everything. I don't expect you to keep every promise you ever made. And I don't expect you to be able to do it all at once, in a year, in two years, maybe not even in four. But I do expect you to be a decent human being, and I do expect you to give it your absolute best. And I'll do my best from where I'm standing. Do we have a deal?

Sincerely,
Kiely

4 MORE YEARS

Yeah, sorry, I liveblogged on Tumblr this time. But we will live! And it's time to really get shit done. No more Mr Nice Guy.

But really- more openly queer people (women! Women of color! Disabled women of color omg!!!) in Congress, a black man re-elected... We did this. This is history, this is big. And our generation saw this become a reality. If Romney had won, I would not have expected to see this for a very long time, maybe not even in my lifetime ;_; I have cried so much tonight and I am so relieved.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

I'm terrified of having kids.

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[TW - Discussion of internalized racism]
Cross-posted from Tumblr.


:-\ I really hate people. This has not been a good week.

Something that's been on my mind for a while now, and while I'm sure I've tried to vocalize it many times, I just need to get it out:

I'm terrified of having kids. 

It's not even so much anymore that I'm afraid of fucking them up. Depressed, anxious, suicidal parents probably aren't... well, we'll get to that when we do.

It's everything else in the world and the fact that I won't be able to protect them from it. The fact that any POC children I may have, whether biological or adopted, will grow up facing the same prejudices and bullshit that we do now. (Because we all know that nothing will change by then. Nothing ever changes. I'm allowed to vote and a black man is the official leader of the country, but look how many hundreds of years that took.) And I see how much it fucked me up, and I fear that for my kids. I'm learning now that there are ways of circumventing that, and ways of undoing the damage, but to be perfectly honest, it can hurt just as much. Maybe more, since the first time sometimes you tend to become numb to it all. You have to, to keep it up. You try so hard to pretend it's not real, that you can be immune to it if you just try hard enough. In koolaid terms - you pretend it's like a magical potion that will make you white in their eyes, if you can drink enough. It's poisoning you, literally tearing at the very heart of you, but the more you drink it, the more they seem to like you. And the more you have to pretend it's all alright.

I don't want them to grow up being told that their natural hair is disgusting and unprofessional, that they're dirty and low class and not worth as much as a white child. I don't want my 5 year old asking me why they can't be pretty with blonde hair and blue eyes like the other kids, because all of their classmates treat them different. 5 year olds tellin kids they can't be a Disney princess because their skin's too dark and their hair's too short and it isn't straight. They learn this shit from birth. I don't want them growing up believing in whitewashed history and dead white men. My mother taught me about great black women, and other POCs, but it wasn't enough to counteract what turned out to be conservative brainwashing. (13 years of conservative Catholic schooling...) I don't want my children growing up with a massive inferiority complex. You can't even begin to comprehend this kind of self-loathing and denial.

And that's not to say that every POC will grow up to feel that way. Most probably don't. It has a lot to do with circumstance maybe, and whether they have a strong support system to keep the poison at bay. But that doesn't change the facts of the school to prison pipeline, or institutionalized racism, or whitewashing, or what white privilege feels like to someone who doesn't have it. It doesn't change the fact that all of these things mean dehumanization. It literally means that I am constantly told that my existence and the existence of people like me is not only worthless but toxic. It's my little sister telling me that she's better than me because she has lighter skin (and is therefore seen as more desirable, because she is closer to "white.") -- and then the poison is controlling you once again. Like a hallucinogen, and completely internalized. Insidious, seeping into every single inch of you, every thought, every action, until you're nothing but a token -- a prize for your oppressors. Another one claimed. Isn't that ironic...

Unlearning and detoxing is pain, but it is worth it. Everything you tried to suppress and ignore will come rushing back at you, and every careless comment made by a friend will feel like a slap in the face. (And the fact that they CAN be so careless will make it so much worse.) And it will make you angrier than you've ever been, because you are so deeply hurt and here they are acting like there was never anything wrong in the first place. That they're not still actively working to be oppressive towards you and people like you. And you start to deconstruct everything you thought you knew -- about yourself and about the world-- and you realize just how deep pain runs and just how much everyone else around you sucks. Even your friends. Especially your friends. And they mock you for knowing. They don't have to care, so why should anyone else. "You're too sensitive. Relax. You're making a big deal out of nothing." They think their opinions on your experiences mean more than your experiences ever could. And they don't see why it's wrong or hurtful. And they don't care when you try to talk about it. And they will try to tear you back down all over again -- and never think for a second that it's a part of the system. They don't understand that your need to fight back is self-preservation, your refusal to be made inferior and inhuman. It's "you have stolen everything from me and I am taking it back." It's your assertion that you are human too and they will fucking respect that.

And you will be angrier than you've ever been.
  
**************
  
So I said I was considering doing NaNo again. This is what I wanted to write about. Starting back then, what it was like. Semi-autobiographical fiction. I have a more specific plot in mind, but this is basically what it would be about.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Acceptance...

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I've been trying all day to figure out how to put this into words... this feeling, I mean. When someone literally hands you everything you've ever wanted and more, in just a few simple words. For me, it's always been acceptance - "I'll support you in anything you choose to do or be." Once, a long time ago (well, 2 years...), my father said that to me. 

And now this person tells me I'm perfect just as I am, "faults and baggage and beautiful face and all." In just a page, it's like I've fallen in love with them all over again. I think I could marry this person. For real, I mean. I really think I could. (Well, if it was legal in either of our states...) And I realized, as I brought the box inside the house, that I came home to something so wonderful... and maybe, just maybe, I could have that every day someday...

I hope she knows how much I meant what I said, too. 

I love you darling <33 span="span">

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Happy Birthday to Meeeeeee

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So yeah, it's my birthday, and I will be making my yearly post as usual. Later. Right now it's time for fanfiction and sugary alcoholic beverages. I've had this blog for over 3 years... Wow.

Friday, August 10, 2012

Updates, Life, etc.

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I don't feel like actually being productive today, so I thought I'd write. If for some reason you've been following my personal life, you'll know things haven't been so great lately. What a surprise. But if you've known me, you'd know it was inevitable. It happens. Maybe someday it'll be fixed and better, but right now, I'm just... exhausted.

I finally started researching more grad schools. (That's the one good thing about feeling like this - I stop caring about whether or not something hurts and focus on the mechanical, where perfunctory is perfection.) I have information and application info for my top 3 schools. Which, surprisingly, haven't changed at all since back then, even if my program has altered slightly (and goes by a different name at each school). It gets clearer every year... 

But part of this search... Well, maybe you'll understand what I mean. One of my biggest frustrations with my life is that I know precisely what I want, but I have no idea how to get it. With a grad school search, it's easy. They tell me exactly what I need to do in order to get it. They give me definite, defined goals and a plan.

My top 2 choices are the MSW from Temple and a MPA (with a focus in community-clinical services) from University of New Haven (though I'm wary about living in Connecticut). I have my heart set on Philly still, but I'm trying to keep other options open... 

Keyword this week is options. There are always other options. Sometimes they're just hard to see.

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Personal shit.

Now is the perfect time to panic. Fighting off the panic attack when you're kind of giddy about something and then "omfg wait shit just got real what do I do"


I don't know how to do that

I have no idea what I'm doing

How do normal people function?! 

Friday, July 13, 2012

Ugh.

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[Trigger Warning - Rape]

I don't want to live on this planet anymore. There are people defending what Daniel Tosh said. Defending a comment about how "hilarious" it would be if an audience member were gang-raped after the show. (highlight to read)

I can't. I literally can't.

I feel sick right now. Clearly I need to spend more time away from other people for a while.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

To White Feminists - aka a Plea for Intersectionality

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[TRIGGER WARNING - Discussion of racism, rape culture, slurs, White Feminism, Laci Green, Islamophobia (a mention, from an outsider’s perspective of the criticism. I cannot and will not speak for Muslim people.), transphobia/cissexism, heterosexism, and sexism in general.]


And since there's so much, this will probably barely scratch the surface of all I want to say. And it's probably been said a million times before, and better. Whatever.

It’s hard for me to describe just how frustrated I have been this past week. Frustrated, angry, resentful, disappointed, hurt, anxious, cheated, disgusted, you name it. And much of it because of this one little white girl and her mob of robot followers.

I’m trying very hard right now to keep impartial, emotionless if possible, so that I can say what I need to say and put this all to rest. To all of those thinking they’ve been getting an “Angry Black Woman ™” vibe from me this week - no shit, Sherlock. I am FURIOUS. (And while I generally do not identify as “woman” anymore on a regular basis, I stand in solidarity with my fellow  queer PoCs. Still a FAABulous bitch.) We are sick and tired of this bullshit. But at this point, we are mostly just tired.

So let’s start at the beginning, long before Little Miss Sex+ got her lily-white ass in our business. If you ask a woman of color, particularly a queer woman of color, about (mainstream) feminism and what it means for them, you’re likely to get a very negative answer. You’ll probably find that very few of us identify as feminists, for a myriad of reasons. (You see that sentence? Consider that my thesis statement. Because that’s pretty much what this ENTIRE argument is going to be about. And I'm even going to include subheadings~ ooo)

tl;dr - Here's the thing - yes, women in general face a shit ton of oppression. But these “feminists” are fooling themselves if they think our oppression is equal, or if they continue to refuse to acknowledge that a huge portion of women are still more privileged than the majority of the world's population. 
Feminism is highly problematic. And when we try to speak up about the flaws of feminism (and how it does not account for all of us), we’re silenced - whether with the label of “anti-feminist” or “ignorant.” Feminism is clearly not a movement for all women. Just cis, white, middle class women.


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I think I'm about 20 minutes from passing out (fucking meds...), so let's make this quick. I've just finished a 2,369 word post pretty much explaining some of the reasons why I a) am taking a brief hiatus from Tumblr and b) still REALLY hate white feminism (aka mainstream feminism). Yes, those reasons are very much related. (Though now that I think of it, I don't think I actually mentioned the hiatus in the post...)The amount of racism (and backlash from the Laci Green bullshit) I've seen in the past week alone was enough for me to leave for a while and come here. The fact that people are STILL defending her stupid white ass is pissing me off to no end, so yes, I'm here for the time being. It's nearing election time, and while I have little to no interest in this election, I should be blogging about it anyway.

I expect my rant to probably piss off people. I kind of don't give a shit. As I said on a Tumblr post, if this shit pisses you off, it's meant for you. Learn from it.

It should be up by 10 maybe.

Oh, and I moved my Tumblr. For this kind of stuff I mean. My old one is strictly personal now. Links will be changing eventually, once my life is less shitty and my grandparents aren't dying anymore. (Oh, yeah, there's that too.)

Just Thoughts on Education.

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Working in a school makes me seriously worry about having children of my own. Mostly the gender and racial roles/stereotypes that are perpetuated here, and the blind patriotism, and the lies (including events in history), and the ignorance... I don't want that for my kids.

And while I'm here, all I can think about is how I'm going to have to find a special school... And then I worry that their other parent would object to this, or think I'm overreacting. I want my kids to have better than I had. Isn't that what every parent wants? And when you're a QPoC and someone who advocates for these kinds of things to change, these are things that matter more than most people may realize.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Laci Green - I want to like you but I can't because you actually kind of suck.

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[Cross-Posting from Tumblr] TW - Islamophobia, etc.

Something that's been in my head for a while - I have really mixed feelings about Laci Green. I really want to like her, and at first I did, but... She's basically become another Dan Savage to me. (And you know how I feel about Dan fucking Savage.) Like... her sex positive stuff is generally awesome, but... when it comes to other things, she's kind of awful :-\

I mean, seriously. Some of the things she says have been really disgusting... She angered Muslims (especially Muslim women) by insisting their religion oppresses them (this was a year ago), and then when they got upset and tried to talk to her about it (this week) and why what she said was Islamophobic, she called them ignorant about their own religion. If you're offended, you're ignorant, and you're being just as oppressive by calling her an Islamophobe -- what the actual fuck was that.
It's very hard for me to respect someone like that. Someone who will sit there and "I don't know what it's like to be a PoC or a Muslim but this is how I feel about those things, and despite the fact that you are both of those things, the way you feel about them is totally wrong and you are ignorant."
 There are certain experiences I can never speak about, such as actually being Muslim or being a person of color. I can, however, speak about my own, and to argue that I must have dark skin or have been a practicing Muslim in order for me to do so is more of the same oppressive bullshit.
This quote for me is unforgivable. No, it is not the same, you are generalizing your personal experiences with religious members of your family to a larger culture about which you fully admit YOU KNOW NOTHING, and yet you continue to argue that you're totally right and anyone who disagrees with you is just ignorant. You basically pulled the "but I have black friends!!!" card and "I'm a white feminist savior" membership card in the same argument. Oh, and Laci, you are a racist asshat. 

And I'm learning that a lot of people in the trans* community don't like her either. They say she's not all that inclusive, she's a hypocrite, and she comes off as the typical arrogant white liberal feminist. (And I definitely agree with that last part. I started following her, and her posts are just... so off-putting.) The "I know your oppression better than you do" type who will talk about how much she hates hates a culture she doesn't understand but then will say, when confronted about a hurtful comment she made, "don't be hateful; allow people to make mistakes because it's how we grow!" stop yelling at me!1!!

Her actual words, which on a second reading, are really NOT ok: "Allow people to make mistakes, learn, and grow from those mistakes or things will never change in society."
  1. Wow. That is some seriously oppressive bullshit privilege denial right there.
  2. You can't learn from a mistake if no one tells you you've made a mistake.
  3. So when someone continues to be an oppressive asshat, you think the "correct" thing to do is to keep my feelings to myself and never call them out on it? Again, how are they going to know and realize that what they did was wrong?
  4. You think the correct way to respond to someone who is rightfully upset with something you said is to call them hateful and tell them to be more polite or things will never get better?
  5. Fuck you.
  6. In case you missed that - FUCK YOU.
  7. Go fuck yourself.
  8. YOU ARE BLAMING THE OPPRESSED FOR THEIR OPPRESSION OMFG NO.
  9. This reeks of "be nice to us or we won't be your allies anymore." aka you are no fucking ally, you're doing this for the brownie points.
Not to mention that she attacked the asker for being "hateful," when they were really anything but. Not that it should even really matter, because she's still wrong - a) you as a privileged person have no fucking right to tell a non-privileged person how to react or feel about their oppression and b) you have no fucking clue how it feels, and we have every right to feel hateful and upset. Fuck your tone policing.

And then. Oh, and this. Well, I don't actually have time to get into the rest, but I have to say, I'm disappointed. And it's frustrating when all of the most popular sex-ed, body positive, sex positive people are white, cis, thin people who have no idea what it's like to not be that, or say things that seem entirely antithetical to what they say they believe. It's frustrating that someone who gives such incredible and important information about sex ed and has a voice that needs to be heard on those topics also uses that voice to shut down people who are rightfully critical of the problematic shit she says and does. And instead of an apology, the people she hurts are treated to privilege denying apologist bullshit and arrogance.

No one's perfect, and yes, it is a process, but... If you're going to be known as an educator about these things, you can and will be held to a higher standard. And if you think it's ok to silence and belittle and talk over ACTUAL trans* people and Muslim and PoCs and people who actually experience on a day to day basis the things you *think* you know about, you are seriously doing it wrong. And I take issue with that.

If people really want to know why I don't call myself a feminist - because the mainstream feminist movement is full of people like this - privilege denying, angry cissexist white girls who can't understand that the only people their "feminism" is helping is other cis white women (as it adds to the oppression the rest of us face).

Sunday, June 10, 2012

So this has just been brought to my attention: #lgbt

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Best representation I have ever seen. It addresses the stigma and the "confusion," AND it's a male character. BRAVO ABC!!! Apparently this aired last summer. American network TV done right.

Also: Glee - THIS is how you do it.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

#things I would post on Tumblr if it didn't mean possibly getting death threats in my askbox

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I can't even begin to tell you how annoying it is when someone tells you that you "shouldn't be offended by everything all the time." 


Wake up. If you're not offended, you're either a) too privileged to have to care or b) not paying attention. If you think it's "just a Tumblr thing," you're spending far too much time on Tumblr. This is nothing new.